


Rest Well

by rabble_dabble_writes



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Sleeping Together, and other characters - Freeform, but its pleasantly nice at the end still so, but not sexually, but you cannot blame me i wrote this late into the night so nothing at that time was weird!!!, i dont know how to detail it exactly, i dont know how to exactly describe this oddity, i only realized how weird it sort of was after i went back and read it, it is just...sort of odd?, just give it a read before judging me okay, like literally - Freeform, odd fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:41:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27090658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabble_dabble_writes/pseuds/rabble_dabble_writes
Summary: This isn’t the first time Karkat has fallen asleep in the vicinity of you and your friends, but it’s certainly the first time you’ve been aware he is so close to you while he is, and you can make out shortly his curled shadow under your covers. He’s practically buried himself right against you, a little mass of anger and twitchiness replaced by something so..so carefully relaxed. You hush your breathing, becoming self-conscious as you run your mind over what you could possibly do or think about this situation before he shifts in his sleep and you can make out the fuzzy details of his face.-John wakes up to a problem he grows to not mind.
Relationships: John Egbert/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 11
Kudos: 41





	Rest Well

It is by one random night of chance that you awaken to find him sleeping peacefully next to you. 

The comforts of sleep make it take a while for reality to set in. You open your eyes blearily, realizing with a small awareness that a tuft of dark mass is tickling right into your face, soft and almost making you want to sneeze before you blink close into the heavyweight of slumber still aching behind your eyelids. And then a good few moments later, when you can manage it, you open them again with wider awareness and realize that, woah, there is  _ way  _ too much warmth under your covers right now for you to be generating on your own and you can definitely hear the gentle puffs of air which you have never thought could exist like the most precious thing to ever be created. 

Your awakened mind runs tiredly over who it could possibly be, but you already have a distinct awed feeling of someone so close and trusting to you to be where he is right now. This isn’t the first time Karkat has fallen asleep in the vicinity of you and your friends, but it’s certainly the first time you’ve been aware he is  _ so _ close to you while he is, and you can make out shortly his curled shadow under your covers. He’s practically buried himself right against you, a little mass of anger and twitchiness replaced by something so..so carefully relaxed. You hush your breathing, becoming self-conscious as you run your mind over what you could possibly do or think about this situation before he shifts in his sleep and you can make out the fuzzy details of his face. 

It worries you, just a bit when you find yourself thinking that he looks so  _ tired _ when asleep. The first time you had caught a glimpse of a quiet, resting Karkat, you didn’t even think he was dazed in dreamland. You thought he was just angrily and surprisingly quietly resting himself up, possibly for whatever he needed to waste his energy on next, but when you called his name he didn’t stir angrily towards your direction. He had barely flinched. You almost mistakenly reached out for his arm before you had realized the angry lines of his face, while still angry, weren’t concentrated so carefully like you knew them to be. It took you only the next moment to realize it, and then you did your duty as a friend to hush the screechy, argumentative bunch of your friends out of the room before he could wake up. You had never before seen Karkat take more than the required time for himself to rest, an argument you used against the more rowdy, teasing bunch of your friends when you stayed adamant in letting him do so, and seeing him stumble as his usual self into the room to start yelling a few hours later about something someone - probably Dave - had done only strengthened your case. 

And you are right in doing so on the off chance that it will happen, or when he pushes himself past a sane point - when sadder times come to you in random moments or you let yourself think too much, you come to the pitiful conclusion that Karkat seems more than pretty miserable by a lot of things. You have learned it is better to let Karkat rant and rave about silly things that don’t need to be talked about rather than accidentally hit a subject so sore to him that he quiets and grows a faraway misty look in his eyes. That is why you don’t let him, or anyone, be condemned in quiet - permitting yourself to be in silence will only let the memories fall in its place, and it is far better to be thinking about how dumb a movie character’s lines are than how that particular person, along with everyone on Earth, no longer exists at all. And it is harder to come back from being sad than it is to start arguing with him about which version of Will Smith is better - an undetermined battle you nor he is yet ready to give up yet. 

He looks tired, and looks worn, something that doesn’t surprise you but makes you wish terribly that he could at least have some peace from his troubles for just a day. You gulp thickly and think about how much you sort of want to hug him and possibly soothe his face into a better one, but you’re too fearful that he’ll wake up and ask what you’re doing, or wake up and hate you, or worst of all, wake up and not question anything at all. So you don’t do anything at all, but shift yourself into a comfortable position as you can manage while trying not to wake him up. 

For a long time, you strongly will for sleep, and when it comes it takes sadness and worries with it. 

* * *

You don’t talk about it. Nor do you specifically ask anything strange about it, except the other two trolls about whether or not sleepwalking is a thing, or perhaps bed-hopping, or whether or not it’s normal for trolls to be found sleeping in strange places where they’re not expected to be. You get educated on nothing more but apparently, sometimes, if sopor slime is unavailable or not close enough before the terrors come, they will sleep with something familiar and protecting to them. You give a hearty curious-human excuse when you thank them and walk away, and never mention again about anything relating to it to anyone. Kanaya and Terezi accept your weirdness as just something along with human curiosity, and nothing more comes of it with them. 

And you do not bring any of the weirdness to Karkat - you give nothing but your usual bright smiles, your jokes, your insistence for the two of you to watch movies or play video games or join him to annoyingly poke and question his mission for that day. He is wearing you down with his interests verbally and you are almost close enough to throw in the towel of boredom to finally read one of his romance books, but you never mention the night you woke up. It’s your curiosity, and the learned awkwardness that Jade has bluntly told you about time and time again that prevents you from asking, and never telling about that night. 

It happens again. You take care of your nightly needs before bed so you never used to wake up in the middle of the night, but the moment you breathe awareness in the quiet dark you know he’s next to you. This time, he is facing away from you, poised like he is ready to fight even in his sleep. You quietly watch him for a few minutes, before carefully,  _ very _ carefully, bring the blanket to cover over his shoulder, and roll back over as if you had never woken up. Your dreams are peaceful and sweet. When you wake up in the supposed morning time of the meteor, it’s a mirror of the first morning after where he and his warmth are gone and the blankets are placed as if they had never been disturbed. 

This time, though, you do not avoid him for the beginning half of the day like you had done previously. This time, you grab your late breakfast and reside yourself right next to him, declaring that you have found a game neither of you had played together yet and you very much intend on winning first place. Karkat’s ego must heal between the time he escapes from your bed and the moment you two see each other awake because he declares you’re about to be the sorest loser in paradox space and time. You swallow down cereal and the troll equivalent to (hopefully) fruit with a knowing smile. 

He doesn’t always sleep with you, you find. Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night alone and with an ache in your arms and chest you can’t explain. There are times where sleeping is hard and you just can’t bring yourself to close your eyes, so you mindlessly exert yourself to pass the hours until you can fall asleep. One of these times, you find yourself tiredly blinking at his room door and knocking softly before you can think about it, where he scolds you for being up at an unthinkable human time before just accepting you in. You end up in a movie binge with him and you don’t even complain when he starts putting on cheesy rom coms, just lets you sit next to him on the couch so you don’t have to bear being alone with yourself and talk with him despite you not being very aware of what you’re talking about. It’s this specific time that you find you awaken to having accidentally fallen asleep during a movie and his hand is gently combing through your hair. You let him remain unaware of you being awake because you also fall back asleep, where a few hours later he wakes you up in a less gentle manner and kicks you out to go rest “IN YOUR OWN DAMN BED!”

And you do, but you begrudgingly like it a lot less. It’s just unexplainably less nice to fall asleep alone and in the cooler atmosphere of your room somehow feeling so different than the warmer, cozier energy of Karkat’s room. 

The next day you only let yourself apologize and thank him for falling asleep in his room, not bringing up how you woke up, and he chews you out for it only a little bit. 

But him turning away doesn’t hide the faint red you catch on his softening glare. It only makes you think about it when you wordlessly alchemize a few more pillows and a bigger blanket before going to bed that night. 

* * *

How sad Karkat looks in the day exchanges between how courageous you become at night. What he carries with him, his thoughts and worries and memories always is carried with him to sleep like they are personally chained to him and his heart, weighing him down in his step by a little but noticeable amount. On these days you let yourself become a little more negotiable, a little less irritable, a little more pestering in your best attempt to help him combat these things. He doesn’t like letting you do so because he’s a stubborn ass and he likes to show off, likes to pretend it’s nothing to bear the weight of his friends and the fight and love he has stored for everything, but considering you are not stupid enough to pretend that, leader to leader, he’s okay, he lets you closer far more than he does Jade or Dave or Kanaya or Terezi. Because there are friends, who he needs day-to-day, and then there is you, who he needs around when the others just don’t quite understand the guilt of thinking about the destruction of everything and the power to rise through it has to be in his and your hands. And how hard it is to be a reliable, familiar point for friends who already believe hoping in a future is too much. Sometimes, he can’t be a joke, and sometimes, you can’t bring yourself to smile, and those days are where you try extra hard at the end of it to at least provide him a little more comfort in a simple way. 

You have always been extra careful in making sure he doesn’t stir from sleeping. By the time you can wake up with him already there, he is deep in what you can only hope is blissful oblivion or calm dreams. He doesn’t ever wake up when you do, but there are times you think his quiet whimpering or tearful sighs will be what prompts you to want to do so yourself. You can’t help it, when you feel gratitude at the idea that he trusts to curl around and next to you, but you’re afraid of attempting to disturb him for fear it will break this cycle. By all means, you know you have the right to do so, to wonder and question why he might sneak next to you at night and disappear by morning. But this feels painfully too precious to break when you have already decoded the reasons why, when you understand so much to want to offer him more than him attempting to be sneaky. Your face may grow red and bothered and you would never dare to admit it out loud, but you are ecstatically overjoyed to know Karkat puts a close trust in you, and you think a lot about wanting him to do the same for you. 

And then the night that this careful cycle breaks, surprisingly, does not sound in shattering pieces of the scenarios you had predicted it could have. He makes the sad noise of having a nightmare, one that makes your gut twist and have you squirming your way close to him, which you’ve learned to very carefully tap his leg with your knee and pretend you are covering his shoulder more with the blanket and not gently rubbing circles into his shoulder. His breathing hitches, a rare but not totally unfamiliar thing to you that’s let you know it’s a  _ very very  _ bad nightmare, and you brave carefully placing your arm around him to envelope him in a close hug. He does the worrying hitch thing again, that makes you splay your hand across his back, and then his shoulders relax as his breathing softens. 

Then it goes back to the quietness before his nightmare, with you sure that you have successfully driven it off until you catch his head sinking forward where his horn hits your chin. 

_ Oh,  _ you think, realizing it quickly from his stillness.  _ Oh,  _ because you just  _ know. _

He’s holding his breath, and that has made you unintentionally hold yours, and now it’s super quiet except for the mechanical buzz of the mechanics of the meteor. You soundlessly swallow as you try to come up with something to say, a question, an excuse, just  _ anything,  _ but then he mumbles something so quietly you almost don’t believe he’s said anything at all. 

“What?” You whisper, and it’s still too loud. Not over your heartbeat in your ears, though. 

“ _ Sorry, _ ” He says in the softest, lowest voice he has ever used. You almost think he’s trained to be at that level of volume. Weeks of secretly whispering to himself until he reached just the right tone to chip at your heart. “For..this.”

A smile stretches over your face carefully, but you don’t let yourself make any noise to accompany it. He sounds woozy with restless sleep and you're secretly pleased to learn that a waking Karkat is seemingly shy. 

“Not a problem, buddy-o-mine,” you reply, trying to keep your tone level. “I figured you sort of needed it, and being the cuddle sacrifice is more than okay with me. Consider it a co-leader favor.”

“Co-leaders do not snuggle,” he mumbles.

“You don’t know that.”

“I have the common sense to know that, which is why I have been completely avoiding telling you about it.”

And, ouch? It’s not what he’s said to you or what his words mean, but rather, how exhaustedly sad he sounds about it. Like he was afraid if he had told you, you would’ve pushed him away. On one hand, had you never figured this out on your own you probably  _ would _ have freaked out about it. Like, majorly. Most likely with spending a lot more sleepless nights than you have anymore. On the other...

You figure a lot of things too weird or unknown to you aren't worth questioning what should be normal anymore. You have seen things that should not exist be firmly real, events that would seem totally fabricated from the mouth of a child or a liar, things that you understand now and almost think as normal despite the fact it has never been so. You crossed the threshold of odd when Rose connected to you; possibly beforehand, when you were too caught up in yourself in the world to perceive it any differently. What was one scared sleepy troll boy added onto that too? Especially since, after all this time, you don’t want to give it up?

“John,” he lifts his head up, but not enough for you to see his face. “Isn’t this weird?”

You take a moment to think about it. Is it?

“I dunno,” you say bravely when you finally speak, taking a moment to move comfortably now that you don’t have to remain so careful. “Not any weirder than me not mentioning it.”

“...how long have you known?”

Now,  _ you’re  _ the embarrassed one. Your mind flickers to the fact that you can’t exactly remember how it was like to sleep every night alone.

You turn to study the pillows as you go, “...maybe a while.”

And if the two of you weren’t so tired, and weren’t in this type of situation, you’d think he’d be laughing. His silence makes you think that he might be, just a little bit on the inside. 

You sort of want to ask him questions, just because your brain thinks you have been caught like hands-in-the-cookie-jar way. He’s a guy troll from another world with a completely different life, you’re the human boy he watched over as you foolishly believed you were working towards something to keep your friends alive, and you’ve both suffered much more than you’d like to admit. This would be exceptionally odd if everything ever wasn’t odd in the first place so that it takes to math and cancels it all out. You want to ask him a million, billion questions about how the two of you might deal with this, but that’d be unfair because you’re both at fault for it. You don’t know what you’re doing here, and he doesn’t either. You're afraid his answer might be something you don't want to hear. Something that might just leave you as confused as you were at the start, and will hammer through your thoughts about how much the two of you just really don’t know about anything. 

But you do know one thing: you really don’t want this, whatever it is, to end. 

He interrupts your thoughts. 

“John?” 

“Hm?”

You can feel him taking a breath.

“Would it be weird if we went back to sleep?”

_ Oh yeah definitely,  _ you think,  _ most certainly, there would be absolutely nothing that could be any weirder than this,  _ but instead of answering with that you just sort of shove the two of you together like puzzle pieces from different puzzle boxes. He curls around you in relief and you feel  _ so _ glad at how comforting and nice it feels to finally be as close as you want and be too tired to remark how the two of you will feel in the morning. To try to coherently classify or question this just seems insulting and a little useless because, well, he's already here and you've already accepted that. You used to care a lot about how someone could feel about you about something like this, but you’ve come to the conclusion that you are too tired, too battered, and too stupid to try to think that caring about it matters to anyone more than you. His hand climbs over you until he can find yours to clasp tightly, and you move your face to rest on top of his head where his hair scratches against your cheek. 

You think this is some sort of agreement. Or a quiet, unspoken conversation that’s deeper in meaning that you would like to admit. Either way, the Karkat in your arms is something grounded for you to hold on to, as you are him, and that is something you will admit no matter what this is between you two. This relief may not be around forever, but for now, it feels like it’s enough to attempt to get through the night restlessly, and hopefully not alone.

In the morning, instead of emptiness, you find your arms still filled with Karkat. Happily, you notice as he wakes up he appears less tired than you have ever seen him be, and his eyes are clear and bright in a way you couldn’t have noticed before. You squeeze his hand and become delightedly filled with so many wonderful things in the smile he returns with it. 

You both have roles to take, and you understand it will never always be easy to handle, but for now, the two of you just lie next to each other feeling well-rested for another day.

**Author's Note:**

> How this came out is a complete MYSTERY to me. Temmie has told me I've written some strange fics before but I didn't imagine myself writing this; which as sweet as it is had me just shaking my head after I reread it for mistakes. I'm a little embarrassed by it, but considering how sweet I also find it I don't mind posting it to see if anyone else will judge me for it. Sometimes I just naively write without any care how it's perceived in any other way, and I think this time that benefited me. I hope you liked it.


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